When the world shut down last year, Christina Aguilera took the downtime to reflect on her past and determine what she wants from her future.

In a new cover story with Health magazine, the 40-year-old singer says she went back and read her diaries from the past 20 years of her life.

“I was able to catch up on them and do some self-reflecting,” Christina tells the mag. “It really forced me to be silent and take a look at myself.”

Seeing how she’s been working since she was seven, Christina says “there’s a heavy amount of guilt” she feels when she’s not. “That grind is praised, but I think we’re all understanding that having moments to self-reflect and just breathe are crucial,” she adds.

That being said, she’s now back in the studio with an even clearer idea of the work she wants to put out. Though she’s “months away” from announcing anything, she does reveal she’s been working simultaneously on an English-language record and a follow-up to her debut Spanish-language album.

“I’m a perfectionist and want to give everything my best — especially because of the soul-searching I’ve done over the past year and the new perspective I have,” she says. “I am reinspired and have reconnected with myself. I’ve fallen in love with music all over again, which is a really big thing to say, having spent my entire career in music.”

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