Luke

#GentleMinions – Why You Can’t Wear a Suit to the Theater This Weekend

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In one of the more bizarre headlines of 2022, moviegoers are being banned from theaters for wearing Suits to see Minions: Rise of Gru. To understand this, you have to be about 3 layers deep in irony and online culture, so as the only WJJY DJ under the age of 40 I suppose it’s my duty.

 

This all starts not with Minions: The Rise of Gru, but with Morbius, the Jared Leto flop for the ages that was released on April 1st of this year. Within a day the internet was ready to layer on ironic, mocking, praise. #MorbiusSweep was trending on twitter, where users were calling it a clear Oscar frontrunner, and “One of the films ever made!”  A specific viral tweet made the phrase “It’s Morbin’ time” trending so hard Jared Leto joked that there is a script for Morbius 2: It’s Morbin’ Time. This line, of course, never actually was spoken in the movie. Because it’s a dumb line. But nobody actually saw Morbius anyway, so it’s not like there’s much proof either way.

 

As jokes about Morbius breaking the box office and “Grossing a Morbillion Dollars” abounded, Sony pictures got a bright idea. The movie had flopped hard, but what if they re-released it the weekend of June 3rd? That would allow them to capitalize on the meme culture the movie had accumulated over the previous months. It’s a genius move. It literally could not fail.

 

Of course, nobody saw Morbius a second time, either. making Morbius possibly the only movie to have ever been a box office bomb twice.

 

The internet remains undefeated.

 

The Internet hyped a mediocre movie up beyond recognition, treating a run of the mill summer movie like the release of Jaws. It did it so effectively that it caused a major movie corporation to lose huge sums of money. It’s this trend, this internet victory against a bland movie, that sets the stage for Minions: Rise of Gru. After all, if it’s funny the first time, it’ll be even funnier the second time.

 

It started simple enough. Show up to the movie with your squad (The Gentlemen), dressed to the absolute best of your high school ability. Go absolutely nuts as the film starts. Watch the films respectably, and give it your heartiest round of applause at the end.

 

This, of course, led to follow up memes. Minions: Rise of Gru was going to sweep the Oscars. It Grossed untold sums of money at the box office, making it the second highest grossing film of all time (after Morbius, of course. A Grumillion dollars is still less than a Morbillion dollars.) Truly, all was good in the world of internet movieposting, as the #GentleMinions trend was enjoyed by all.

 

That was until TikTok does what it does best, ruin the fun for everyone. Teenagers and influencers hungry for clout started screaming at the movie, during the movie. They started throwing trash. They abused staff. In one instance they actually damaged a theater screen. Why would they do this? Because angry views and happy views count all the same, and the only thing that matters is fake internet points and clout.

 

It was with a mighty blow, then, that cinemas banned the wearing of suits, thus ending the saga of what was an A-Tier Meme. Finally, if the banning of suits didn’t make it official, nothing kills a meme like a corporation acknowledging it.

So, what did we learn from all of this? Absolutely nothing. The internet never learns anything.